Monday, May 9, 2016

Mother's Day

Another Mother's Day has come and gone, and I find that Mother's Day is a weird holiday because you get to "take a break" as a mom, but then the next day you're just left doing all the stuff you didn't do when you were "taking a break".  It's just an illustration that you can't really take a break from your life.  Everything is still waiting for you when you get back.  It's ok, though.  It's nice that people want you to take a bit of a break on a day that's supposed to be special for you.

I think Mother's Day is generally weird for me.  I spent years functioning as someone's mom without getting the credit for it, and then I had a baby and everyone acted like I was suddenly hitting my very first mother's day and made a huge deal out of it.  But, because it's not just my Mother's Day, I find that we spend a lot of time doing things for other mothers, like mine, my mother-in-law, and my husband's grandma, so the whole "celebration" piece of it seems focused on other moms.  I think that's just how it goes, though.  Everyone has obligations to their moms, and you have to share the day, which I think would be easier if our families all got along and we could truly share it instead of bouncing from one house to another all day long.

I think the most striking thing this year was the contrast between this Mother's Day and last.  Last year I had a million text messages wishing me a Happy Mother's Day from all of my friends and family.  This year I got messages from the some people, but it was greatly reduced.  I think maybe that had to do with last year being the "first" one, but I find myself wondering if some of it was because people are putting distance between us.  It's been ongoing, it's impossible to ignore.  It's not just one or two people, it's almost everyone I know.  The only people who reached out this year were people who never got weird after my daughter was born.  People who, despite any flaws or missteps in the past, still show up when things matter.  The group is very small, but it's interesting to see who is still around a year later, and who still reaches out.  I'm sad that things have gone the way they have, but it's also not entirely in my control.  I miss a lot of things and a lot of people, but I'm not the one who pulled away so I guess that's just how things are now.

On the whole, as Mother's Days go, mine was nice.  We went to dinner on Friday to celebrate since we knew Sunday would be spent making the rounds to everyone else, and my husband and kids got me a lovely gift certificate that I look forward to using.  That's about as extensive as it got.  I think that's ok, though.  I don't love being the center of attention most of the time, so keeping things low key was nice.  And I got a lovely card filled with scribbles from my younger daughter, and a very nice card from my older daughter and her boyfriend that was filled with love and kindness.  That's really all anyone could ask for.


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