Saturday, March 14, 2015

I don't get it

I don't get it when people say that you can't do anything when you have a baby.  I don't get it when people talk about how your house will be a disaster and you will be enjoying many nights of having cereal for dinner because there's no way you could cook with an infant around, or when people say you can't go anywhere with an infant, or that you won't be able to shower or do your makeup or socialize with friends anymore.  I don't get it because for me, that really just hasn't been the case.

There were a couple of weeks at the beginning when we were still trying to get our feet back under us where dinner meant ordering take-out or popping something a friend had given us into the oven.  I was recovering from the c-section, we were both tired and trying to figure out how the new routine of our lives was going to look, and those couple of weeks meant life wasn't going entirely as usual.  During that time I feel like only cooking and sleeping suffered.  We still managed to keep the house tidy, including vacuuming every few days.  We kept the dishes washed, we kept up with laundry.  We still had people over to visit.  Life found a new normal, and when my husband went back to work, things were falling into a better routine already.  Then he went back to taking classes, and I was left totally alone all day and all evening to take care of her, the house, and make sure dinner was on the table when my husband got home from class so he could work on homework.  There was not one night where I was unable to take care of everything.

Beyond that, from the time we brought her home, there wasn't a single time where either my husband or I were unable to shower when we wanted to.  I attended a baby shower on a Saturday morning when my husband was in class, and I was able to get myself dressed, do my makeup, dress my daughter, and make it to the shower on time.  If we've wanted to go out for dinner on any given night, we have been able to.  We just take her along, and since she's prone to falling asleep in the car, we end up with her sleeping straight through dinner for us.

So I guess I don't get it when people say that your life will be a disaster and you can't possibly do the things you want to do when you have a baby.  Our lives have been going just fine.  We go through things the way we always have, but this time there's just someone else to bring along.  She is content to go along for the ride and I'm fine with taking her out with us whenever we go places.  She has to learn that sometimes we have to go out and do things, and the more we do that with her, the more she'll start to understand how she should behave in those situations.  I am not a fan of leaving kids behind for everything.  She goes to the grocery store, and on any errands I may need to run, and to the vet's office when we had to take the dog in.  She goes where I go, and that's just how it is.  I don't know why other people can't make that work.


  1. I probably shouldn't have read this right now, lol, I have a good friend who gave birth in January and I still haven't met her baby. (When I brought it up in an e-mail to her she passive-aggressively joked that I would have to make sure I don't have one of my many colds I get from working with kids). I honestly don't think she's left the house at all, she has another friend who brings her groceries sometimes even though her husband is around... I just don't get some people. Why would you want to stay sequestered in the house with an infant? It's nice to get some perspective from another mom who isn't having that same experience.

    1. I think that it's largely a choice. I think a lot of people use a baby as an excuse to get out of doing regular stuff. I totally understand some things not being as big a priority anymore once you have a kid (My Tivo has an abundance of shows piling up) but the things that need to happen can still happen, and there is also still room for the things that you want to happen. We hosted a dinner for 15 people last weekend and did all of the cooking/cleaning with an infant. It wasn't as spotless as I might have liked, but the house was still really clean, and dinner was cooked and served on time. It can be done. I think some people just get lazy.

    2. Wow, 15 people! That's great! I definitely see the change in priorities, but something like not being able to grocery shop, or make dinners, doesn't really make sense to me... She did have mastitis, so I'm sure that's horrible and awful, but I think it would just be better for her overall well-being to get out once in a while. I'm sure it's very consuming in the beginning though, it will probably change.